雅思大作文点评 国家体育队应该由谁资助？

雅思大作文点评:国家体育队应该由谁资助？

Some people believe that national sports teams who represent their country should be financially supported by the government. Some other people think they should be funded by non-governmental resources such as corporations and individuals. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, because people as well as governments emphasis the importance of sports, the status of national sports teams has been enhanced. Hence, whether the expense of national sports teams

should be paid by authorities or corporations is under controversy. In my opinion, it is the obligation that governments should support the national sports teams in terms of the financial aspect. （60w） 点评：第一段的写作是2+1’，句型到具有一定的复杂和多样性，但是仍然有错误，特别是最后一句，虽为强调句，但是错得让人看不懂。第一段比较重要的是清晰且直接的表达自己的观点（一般写在最后一句），另外几句都是相关的背景介绍，一定要简洁，不要太长。第一段总字数在40词左右即可，而此篇稍有冗长之嫌。

注意：字数多可并不是件好事，一则内容繁琐或无关，二则考试时间有限！

Since sports teams can’t make profit directly, they haven’t the

privilege to use the money of the national budget. The capital that governments pay the fee of sports teams is the national revenue. If governments needn’t pay their fees, the funds can be used in

other area, such as medical, education and infrastructure. （53w） 点评：第二段的内容写的比较简单，扩展的一般，内容不算特别充实，稍有重复之虞。且第二句的定语从句使用不正确，the capital是先行词，that是关系代词应该在后面的从句中充当主语或者宾语等成分，而此句that后面是个完整的句子就不对了。

注意：要想写作拿到7分以上，内容也是需要关注的。但是雅思大作文讲究的是内容充实，即论点后面有论证，并不要求同学们一味的追求内容深奥或者新颖！

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However, the responsibility of the national sports team is to promote sports spirit and get honour which can’t be estimated by the economic standard. As long as they reach a great achievement in the

international competition, the glory is not only belongs to a team, but also attribute to national citizens. If the team is ran by corporations or individuals, they are affiliated to a company or a person instead of a nation. (73w)

点评：此段内容比第二段好些，更加充实有力，然而语言关依然没有通过，还是有些低级的错误。结构倒是一贯地比较清晰。belong是没有被动语态的，run的过去分词依然是run。

On the other hand, governments have ability and fruitful resource to cultivate sports teams. Though many companies and individuals have ability and talents who can train teams, their power isn’t as strong as authorities. Authorities can supply the best apparatus and choose the most suitable coach and athletes from whole country even around the world. In addition, governments don’t consider the economic profit of it.On the country, companies probably won’t invest in training sports teams when they discover that they can’t gain benefit from it. (86w) 点评：第四段是让步段，即从反面角度来分析。内容还是比较充实的，然而稍有矛盾！因为on the other hand是“另一方面”的意思，一般是与前几段内容对立的。而纵观此段，貌似应该用in addition, furthermore开头更为合理些。红色部分依然是语言的错误，have the ability, the whole country, on the contrary。这些错误暴露了作者的基本语言水平还不够扎实。

To sum up, the national sports team is one of the symbol of a country. I advocate that authorities should invest in cultivating excellent sports teams. Though there are many obstacles, I am sure that we can conquer it by our efforts.(42w)（314words）

点评：第五段，即结尾段，一般是比较容易写的，重申观点即可，但不能照抄第一段已经用过的语句！人称方面有些问题，前面是说“country”，后面又变成了“we can…”，有些不统一。

总评：全文内容方面尚可，结构清晰，但语言虽有一定的多样性和复杂性，却时而有错。再三考虑，6分。

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最权威的国际教育服务平台

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