One day, if someone gets up on the right side of the bed and calls me andsays:’ You are the greatest person on earth. You are doing a great job and Iwant you to know I am honored to call you a friend.” I know he is sincere. Howdoes it make me fell? Great. But the next day, he gets up on thewrong side side of the bed, picks up the phone and says:” You rascal, you cheat,you crook! You are biggest fraud in town.” How does it make me feel?Terrible.
一天,如果某人情绪甚佳,并打电话给我说:“你是世界上最伟大的人。你做得非常好,我想让你知道把你称作朋友是我的荣幸。”我知道他是诚心的。听了这话我会有何感受?棒极了。然而第二天,他情绪不佳,拿起电话给我说:“你这恶棍,你这骗子,你这个不诚实的人!你是镇上最大的骗子。”我又有何感受?非常糟糕。
So the first day when he says, “You are the greatest guy,” I feel great andthe next day when he says, “you rascal,” I feel terrible. Who is controlling mylife? Obviously, he is, Is that the way I want to through life? Not at all. Thatis being externally driven.
第一天,他说:“你是最棒的人”时,我感觉良好。而第二天,当他说:”你是恶棍”时我感觉糟糕。谁在操纵我的生活?很明显是他。难道这就是我的生活方式吗?决不是,这是外因驱动。
I want to be internally driven. When he calls me and says I am the greatestguy it is good to hear those words. But even if he doesn’t say those words, inmy own estimation, I am still a god human being. And the next day when he ripsme apart, he can’t really, because in my own estimation. I am stilla good human being. When people make statements like, “You make me angry, ” thefocus of control is external. But if I say I am angry or I choose to be angry,the focus of control is internal.
我要主动的生活。当他打电话给我说我是最棒的人时,接受这些话语是有益的,但即使他并不是这么说,在我的自我评价中我依然是个好人。而第二天,当他想将我的自尊心撕碎时,他也并不能真正做到,因为在我的自我评价中我依旧是个好人。当人们说:“你使我愤怒“时,操纵点在外界。而如果我说我生气了,或者我要选择生气,那么操纵点就是内在的。
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